Wedding Planning Articles

We have compiled a series of helpful wedding planning articles to assist you with planning your wedding. Simply click on the article title below to read the article.

• How To Pick A Florist

• How To Personalize Your Ceremony

• Unity Candle Tips

• The Bridezilla Syndrome

• Questions To Ask Your Caterer

• Finding A Reception Hall

• Online Bridal Registries

• The Rehearsal Dinner

• 20 Ways To Panic-Proof Your Wedding Day

• The Do's And Don'ts Of The Night Before Your Wedding

• Grooms Wedding Day Ideas

• How To Make A toast

How To Pick a Florist

Word of mouth is always your safest bet. If the florist's service and work comes highly recommended, chances are they will do a good job for you. Do your research by going to bridal shows and looking at online pictures from your store's website. Make appointments to visit at least 3 different florists.

When you visit each florist, look at pictures of their previous work and look around their shop.

• Do you like the arrangements that you see in the shop's displays?

• Do the flowers in the pictures look fresh or are the petal edges brown?

• Are the pictures dated or are they following the current trends?

• Is the designer willing to work with you or are they telling you that your idea won't work?

• Make sure you speak to the florist that will do your arrangements.

• Do you feel comfortable with your florist?

• Is your florist paying attention to you while you're talking and does he/she seem interested?

When To Book Your Florist

6 months before your wedding is a good time to start your search. Book your florist approximately 4 months before your wedding date. You need to have your reception and ceremony sites picked out before you can hire a florist because you'll need to know how many arrangements you'll need and that the colours you pick don't clash with the colours of your venue. You'll also need to know what color your bridesmaids' dresses are.

What To Bring To An Appointment

• Pictures of flowers and arrangements that you like (magazine clippings or websites)

• Picture of your wedding gown - swatches of material from your bridesmaids gowns - if available, a picture of your reception room

• If you are supplying the containers for arrangements, bring those too.

• Bring quotes you've gotten from other florists.

• Bring a list of all the flowers and arrangements you need and who they are for, so that the florist can label corsages, boutonnieres and bouquets, with names or titles. Example: on a bouquet a stapled piece of paper reads "maid of honour". This way everyone gets the right flowers.

Questions To Ask The Florist

• When viewing photos of past work, ask if the flowers where arranged by the same person that is doing your arrangements.

• After giving your florist your ideas, ask for their opinion or ideas. You don't have to take their advice but at least take the time to listen. You never know, you might like their ideas better then your own.

• Is there a delivery charge?

• Is there a setup fee?

• Do they have rental supplies?

• Do they need a map for the different delivery locations?

• Can you change your order if you have another idea? What's the cut off date for new ideas?

• What times will the flowers be delivered to each location? This question can be asked 1 month before your wedding.

• Will the florist transport ceremony decorations to the reception location? Is there a fee?

• Can they make a sample of your bouquet and centerpiece? Some florists will, some won't.

• Will they write you up an itemized quote? Some won't in fear that you will bring it to other florists for a better deal.

• Are the flowers you've chosen in season? What flowers are in season for your date?

• You're on a tight budget, can the florist work with a mixture of silk and fresh flowers?

• Are there any additional or hidden costs?

• Is the florist familiar with your reception and ceremony locations?

• 1 month before your wedding date, call the florist and ask them if they can get the type and colour of flower you wanted?

Things To Keep In Mind

If your wedding date is around the time of a flower giving holiday (mother's day, valentine's, etc) you're going to pay more for your flowers. The florist will also be very busy during this time and you can't expect to be the centre of attention. Meet and speak to the person that will be making your flower arrangements.

A good place to start is with the bride's and bridesmaid's bouquet, work with those colours and flower types to create your centerpieces, alter arrangements and other floral decor.

You don't have to book on the spot. Take your quote home and think it over.

The more information you give your florist the better they will understand what you want.

If you choose flowers that are not in season and have to be shipped, you're looking at a bigger expense and you don't know what effect the shipping will cause on your flowers.

What Goes On The Contract

In most cases your bill will be your contract. Read the small print on the bill. Everything the florist is supplying should be on the bill:

• Your name, address and phone number.

• The contact person's name, address and phone number for every delivery location.

• An itemized list and description of every floral arrangement, the number required, colour of ribbons and other decorative accents.

• Time of setup

• The name of your floral designer

• The service they will provide. i.e. setup and delivery to each location and what this entails.

The total cost, your deposit and the amount still owing and the date for the last payment.

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How to Personalize Your Ceremony

Great ideas on how to personalize your wedding ceremony with music, readings and prayers, wedding vows, wedding programs and lots more!

Ceremony Music

1.   Hire musicians for your ceremony such as a trumpeter, violinist, flautist or harpist.  You could also use a string quartet, bells, chimes, or even bagpipes.

HINT: You can hire musicians without it costing a fortune - check with your ceremony officiant, and at the local colleges for suggestions.

2.   If you hire a trumpeter, there are a few pieces that are written especially for the trumpet and the organ, such as "Trumpet Voluntary" and "Trumpet Tune" by Jeremiah Clark. It can make for a truly majestic and grand entrance. 

3.   Walk down the aisle (the recessional) to the same song as your mother did. This is a nice tribute to your parents and can be a real sentimental "tear jerker".  

4.   Sing a hymn during your ceremony.  This creates a feeling of "unity" and gives your guests the feeling that they are participating in your ceremony. It also may help to ease any jitters before the actual ceremony begins.  A nice hymn suggestion… "For the Beauty of the Earth".

5.   If you’re having a receiving line after the ceremony, you might want to ask your musicians to play while you greet your guests.  It makes for wonderful background music.

Down The Aisle

1.   Traditionally, the bride’s father escorts the bride down the aisle. Today, there are many other variations.  Some brides are being escorted by two fathers (father and step father), each holding one arm of the bride. Some brides are even walking down, hand in hand with their mother.

2.   Give a rose to your mother and groom’s mother as you walk down the aisle.  Talk to your florist and have them place the two roses in your bouquet (unfastened) and then pull them out when you reach the front of the church.

OR - prior to the ceremony, place a personalized handkerchief and a rose at both mothers' seats. The handkerchief will be a wonderful keepsake and remembrance.

Wedding Vows

1. Many couples are personalizing their wedding ceremony by writing their own vows.  You may want to pick up a book about wedding vows to help you get started.  Read over a large selection of vows and pick out words and phrases that "feel right" and incorporate them into your own vows.  One good rule - keep your vows short, simple and from the heart.
   
   If you’re having a religious ceremony, check with your Officiant first to see if you are allowed to deviate from the traditional wedding vows.

2.   You can choose to memorize your wedding vows and recite them to each other. A word of caution - you’re likely to be a little nervous before and during the ceremony, so you may not want the added pressure of trying to remember your vows.

An Alternative - write out your vows and bring them with you.  You can hide them in your glove or hold them with your bouquet.

If you do choose to recite them from memory, make sure that either you or the Officiant has a copy - just in case!

Candle Lighting

1.   Lighting the unity candle symbolizes the union of two lives into one. To include others into your ceremony, you could ask the mothers, grandmothers or other guests to go to the altar to light the two candles that you and the groom use to light your unity candle.  

2.   Have a candlelit service. The bride and groom light their candles and then the ushers walk down and light the candles of everyone sitting at the end of the pews and then those guests turn and light the candle of the person sitting next to them and so on.  Next, the lights are dimmed and the entire church is lit by candle light and the most warm and romantic glow transcends over the church.

Many venues have restrictions about candlelit services due to the potential fire hazard, so be sure to check with your venue/Officiant, before you start buying any candles!

Children In Weddings

1. Including children in your wedding always adds a special touch. Generally, it’s best (or at least more predictable) to have children ages five and above, but it always depends on the child too.

2. If the bride or groom already have children, vows can be written to include them in the ceremony.  It’s a nice way for children from any previous marriages to feel accepted, loved, and part of the new family. 

3.   Another way to include children from previous marriages is to have them take part in the candle lighting or sand ceremony. After the bride and groom light their unity candle, the children can participate by lighting a candle too.

4.      READER TIP: I have 2 children from my previous marriage and we wanted to include them in our ceremony to show that we are all in this together and that we are (will be) a family. Instead of a unity candle that just 2 people light, I found a large candle with 4 wicks that we can all light. I think the kids will understand the symbolism in this the best. (Soon to be, Mrs. Madsen)

The Wedding Program

1. Design your own wedding program. You can have them printed or you can make them at home on your computer - just buy a nice stock of paper and tie with a pretty ribbon. Inside, write the names of all the members of the wedding party and the music played.  Be sure to include the names of your musicians and names of any readers and passages read.

2. As part of your wedding program, you can include special poems about love or family or write a special message to your guests.  Here’s an example of a special dedication to a bride and groom’s parents…

"We would like to dedicate this ceremony to our parents.  They have taught us our values, and shown us how to laugh, love and appreciate all that life has to offer.  Their generosity, support, and love is unending."

Readings And Prayers

1. Readings, prayers or passages always personalize a wedding ceremony. Ask special family members or friends to do a reading.  Be sure to check with your Officiant and ask if you are allowed to use "non-religious" readings.

2. Ask your Officiant to include the names of your parents or family in a special prayer.  Many times family members that have recently passed away may be mentioned in a prayer, but it can also be used for anyone you want mentioned in a special way.

New Trends

1. A new trend now is for the bride and groom to face each other when exchanging their wedding vows versus having their backs to the congregation.  This allows your guests to feel they are much more a part of the ceremony.

2. Instead of tossing birdseed or rice, try blowing bubbles or if you want to be a little bit more extravagant, try releasing doves or butterflies. 

3. More brides today are doing without aisle runners. It’s not always easy to put down the runner properly and there have been instances where the runner has gotten caught up underneath a wedding dress.  Not a pretty site!

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Unity Candle Ceremony Tips

The unity candle symbolizes the very essence of the wedding ceremony. Two taper candles, representing the couple as individuals, are used to light a single center candle as a visible symbol of their commitment to each other. There are many variations on the ceremony and the individual details are completely up to you. Here are some ideas to help you as you plan your ceremony.

Preparing for Your Ceremony

Before the ceremony begins, place the unity candle on a small table near the front. If you have an on-site coordinator who may have specific instructions, be sure to check in advance. To prepare for the ceremony, it is a good idea to light the wicks for a moment. (We know you won't be nervous or anything...but just in case, your candles will light much more easily.) Oh, and who's got the matches?

There are several popular options for lighting you taper candles. You can have your parents come forward to light the side tapers as a symbol of your two families coming together as one. At this point, some couples choose to present their mothers with a rose. If you wish, the minister or best man and the maid of honor can light the tapers. Or, you may light the tapers yourselves from a candle on the altar.

To Extinguish or Not to Extinguish

When it comes to your unity candle ceremony, that is often the question! While some folks feel that you should extinguish the candles to symbolize your commitment to one another, others argue that to emphasize your individuality within your union, you must leave the tapers lit. Whether or not you extinguish the taper candles is a personal decision and, like many aspects of your wedding planning, is entirely up to you.

If you choose to extinguish your tapers, try this reading:

As [Name] and [Name] together light the center candle, they will extinguish their own candles, thus letting the center candle symbolize the union of their lives. As this one light cannot be divided, neither will their lives be divided.

If you'd prefer to leave your tapers lit, try this one...

[Name] and [Name] come into their marriage relationship as individuals and they do not lose their identity, rather they use their individuality to create and strengthen the relationship of marriage. Therefore, the three candles remain lighted, one for each of them and one for their marriage, as symbols of their commitment to each other and to a lasting and loving marriage.

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The Bridezilla Syndrome

Article Description:  From the author of Chicken Soup for the Bride's Soul. An extremely funny article on how the attitude of a bride can change while planning her wedding.

In a fast-paced world of wedding planning, stress levels are high; immune systems are low; and over the course of the past 20 years, brides have transmitted, what has become a bridal epidemic of our time.

The number of victims has steadily increased; and to date, there is no cure. It’s been dubbed various clinical names: Multiple Personality Disorder, Schizophrenia, Temporary Insanity. But in the world of matrimony, anyone who’s been exposed - fiancés, family, friends, and victims themselves -- this broadening illness has been commonly termed “Bridezilla Syndrome” or “BS.”

A contagious condition, BS has become more prominent and has plagued today’s busy, wedding-planning woman. In a preliminary study, the disease has spread at an alarming rate. Symptoms of victims of BS -- better known as Bridezilla -- include reoccurring mood spells, bouts with selfishness, signs of controlling behavior and feelings of meticulousness. Unfortunately fiancés, bridal party members, friends and family eventually fall victim to the actions and attitudes of a Bridezilla.

Research suggests that symptoms are recognized most often by the fiancé and Maid of Honor, and are completely undetectable by the actual victim. In some cases, a bridal party member, who having had too much to drink, confronted the Bridezilla. Most often, an emotional, breakdown of the victim would follow, thus intensifying her condition. In a survey of 100 Maids of Honor, an alarming 85% said they avoided confrontation with the victim for fear it would only exasperate the illness.

So we must ask the underlying questions: Where is all this BS coming from? How does one know when she’s full of it?

Unfortunately the source has not been found; though it is believed that it has existed since the dawn of the institution of marriage. A short-term condition (symptoms persist about 1-2 years depending on one’s wedding date), Bridezillas seem to have been unfairly blamed for their actions, for which some believe they have no control, albeit their control over everything else. In fact, it’s been clinically proven that a Bridezilla actually does have feelings -- feelings of selfishness, insecurity, anxiousness and stress!

Though it’s been said there is no cure, there are ways to prevent infection of BS. A survey of healthy brides, whom successfully planned their weddings without contracting the disease, was conducted. Results showed commonalities of the actions performed to avoid the disorder. Doctors, psychologists and wedding planners strongly suggest the following preventative therapy:

• Keep Perspective -  remind yourself that the wedding is only one day in your life. When things get out of control, close your eyes and remember the reason why you are planning this wedding in the first place.

• Don’t Assume Your Groom Doesn’t Want to Help -   ask him what he’d like to take responsibility for; and then let him.  (note: some grooms may follow the cliché and decline this offer.)

• Know That You Can’t Control Everything -  realize this and accept it!

• Delegate. Delegate. Delegate -  If you act like you can handle everything, people will let you. Spread the duties.

• Don't Sweat the Small Stuff -  people won’t remember whether or not your invitations had those cute little tissues enclosed.

• Treat The People You Cherish with Love -  the wedding is one day; your family and friends are forever.

• Allow Others to Vent -  give your fiancé, family and bridesmaids permission to tell you when you’re going off the deep-end.

• Take the Heat - give yourself permission to hear them.

• Do Something for Yourself Every Day -  the catch is that it must not involve the wedding.

• No Wedding Talk After 10pm.

Although preventative therapy is available, some brides inherently fall victim and still contract BS. But there is hope! This is not a terminal illness. In fact in most cases, the bride has been known to be miraculously cured once she has returned from her honeymoon. Doctors and psychologists theorize that the change in altitude from flying coupled with excessive levels of the love hormone, Oxytocin counteracts the disease by boosting the immune system, thus eliminating symptoms.

In cases of remission, the disease has been known to resurface when a person, under certain circumstances, may be planning her wedding again. According to research, those brides with a higher IQ score avoided the reoccurrence of symptoms by simply eloping.

Whatever your situation, whether a Bridezilla, fiancé, friend or family member of one -- join in the fight! With love, hope and education, our brides of the future and their bridal parties will have a winning chance against all the BS!
 

Provided by:  Gina Romanello - Author of Chicken Soup for the Bride’s Soul

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Questions To Ask Your Caterer

Food plays an important role in the wedding festivities, so you'll want to take plenty of time and care when choosing your caterer. Here are some great questions to ask your caterer to ensure that you have an amazing "wedding feast" without any surprises!

Menu Options and Reception Styles

There are so many food varieties to choose from when it comes to menu selection. You can have a traditional sit down dinner, buffet, food stations or a cocktail reception. It all depends on your personal preference and budget.

Budget

Let your caterer know your budget up front. Don’t assume that a buffet or food station is less expensive than a sit down dinner. It all depends on the type of food served, not how it's served.

Food Preparation

Does the caterer use all fresh food and produce? Will any of the food for the reception be frozen or canned?

Taste Testing

Ask if your caterer will do a "tasting" and when. This is where the bride and groom can go sample and taste some of the caterer’s dishes. Yum Yum...

Leftovers

Ask what is done with the leftover food. Particularly, if you are having a buffet or food station, there can be food leftover. Some brides choose to have the leftover food given to a homeless shelter or packed up and brought home. Some caterers don't offer this option because they can’t guarantee its freshness and they don’t want anyone to get sick if the food is not stored properly.

Ethnic Recipes

Ask if dishes can be prepared that are not included on the regular menu. Some brides have a special "family" dish they'd like or a particular type of ethnic food prepared. This is a great way to really personalize your dinner and reception.

Guaranteed Numbers

Many caterers will quote prices based upon a certain number or minimum number of guests. For instance, your caterer may have a minimum of 100 guests and if only 80 show up there may be an additional fee.

Wedding Cakes

Do they offer wedding cakes in their package? Can they make you a wedding cake? Will the caterer cut up the cake for you and will they do this for free or charge a fee? Some caterers charge a per slice fee, so be aware!!

Taxes and Gratuities

Are they included in the price or will they be added later? Find out what the final price is.

Ratio of Servers to Guests

Now, this will vary depending on the type of reception you have.

Dress Code for Wait Staff

How will the staff be dressed?

Decorations

Ask to see pictures of their table displays. Some caterers that do buffets or food stations will include floral arrangements and other decorations. As your wedding plans progress, talk to your caterer about your colour theme so that all decorations and floral arrangements will coordinate.

Also, find out what type of decorating they might do for you. Will they swag your head and cake tables? Will they set out your favours and seating cards?

Tableware and Linens

Does the price include table linens, napkins, dishes, and glassware? Ask to see samples. Remember, if you don’t like the tableware or linens they offer, most everything can be rented, but usually at an additional price!

Licenses

Your caterer should be licensed by the province. Most display their license in their office, but if you're not sure, ask!

Liquor

Do you need to get a Special Occasions Permit from the liquor board? If you are supplying the alcohol and they are bringing the mix, what is the price per person? If you are providing the alcohol, will the caterer charge you a corkage fee?

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Finding A Reception Hall

Ready to pick out a place to hold your wedding reception? These tips will help you pick the right reception location for your wedding celebration.

Being disc jockeys, we get the opportunity to evaluate many reception facilities while having little or no bias to “sell” one location over another. Most Brides and Grooms know where they will be holding the ceremony before they decide where to have the reception, so we have compiled five observations that can help you when selecting your venue.

Distance - If people have to drive a long way to get from the ceremony to the reception, some will get distracted or decide to do something else. Try to keep the reception within a 15 to 30 minute drive of your ceremony. If it is not possible to get a reception hall close to your ceremony, make a caravan. Have the Bride and Groom lead the parade, and people will follow you to your reception.

Time – Time is just like the distance issue. If your reception is several hours after the ceremony, people will get busy doing other things and not show up for the reception. Try to start the reception within an hour or two of the ceremony. If you don’t want to start your wedding dance at 4 o’clock in the afternoon, have a Meet and Greet mixer before your reception. Serve some punch and get people to mingle. This will be one of the few times that both families will be together. Encourage family members to share stories about your childhoods.

Size - People like their personal space, and they have most likely spent an hour packed into a church for your ceremony. If you let them spread out, they will enjoy themselves more. Make sure your reception hall has plenty of room for your guests. The people renting the location might tell you it holds 200 people, but that doesn't necessarily mean it will hold 200 people comfortably! Make sure to visit the venue before booking.

Climate Control - Having a summer wedding? Is your reception hall air conditioned? If people sweat while just sitting, they won't dance. On the flip side, if they are cold they won't dance either (who wants to dance in a parka?). Also make sure you know who has control of the thermostat so the temperature can be adjusted if needed. Chances are your reception will be warm and stuffy while all the guest are there, but as they trickle out during the night the room will begin to cool down.

Smoking - This is a hot button issue, but if your reception hall is non-smoking, you can fully expect smoker's to leave your reception for 15-30 minutes every hour. If enough of them leave the reception area, you may find a large percentage of your guest just hanging out in the smoking area. This can be a big problem if you have many smokers in your wedding party. You don’t have to allow smoking, but it is something you should consider, especially if anyone has any health problems like asthma or allergies that could be triggered by smoke. If you decide not to allow smoking in the reception area, how close is the nearest place for a smoker to go? Is it close enough that you will be able to get needed wedding party members during events like the bouquet toss or garter auction?

Facility coordinators will no doubt bring up several other factors for you to consider when you interview them for your booking, but these are often missed items, especially if they don’t favor the potential venue. If you keep the overall picture in mind and work with your wedding planner or event coordinator on the decorating ideas, you will no doubt have an enjoyable and memorable wedding reception.

Tim and Tammy Smith own By Request DJ & Karaoke Company, located in Fargo, North Dakota. They have been providing entertainment for wedding receptions since 1994 and belong to several professional disc jockey organizations.

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Online Bridal Registries

Article Description:  An online bridal registry should be included in any bride's wedding plans. A bridal magazine gives tips on how to handle a wedding registry to benefit the bride and groom as well as the wedding guests.

Congratulations -- you’ve just said “yes” to the love of your life and a happy future awaits you -- at least it will once the wedding is planned! Once reality sets in, the task of planning your wedding can be a little overwhelming. Registering for your wedding gifts can be one of the most exciting things on your “to do” list, but making the right choices on everything from dinnerware to bed linens can also be daunting. Christiane Robinett, Pier 1 spokesperson and recent newlywed, is here to offer some tips on making the process a little easier and a whole lot more fun!

A “Site” For Sore Eyes

“I recommend registering as soon as you become engaged,” says Robinett. “An easy way to do this is to register online.” Registering online is a great time-saving tool for both you and gift-buyers, particularly those loved ones who are too far away to attend various celebrations in person. “You can shop and register for everything online at pier1.com. Your guests then have the option to view your registry online or visit a local store,” says Robinett. “Once registered, you can check back and add new items as often as you like. Your registry will remain active for two years after your event so guests can continue to purchase items for birthdays, holidays, anniversaries, etc.,” Robinett explains.

Streamline the Process

Don’t register at too many places -- this not only confuses guests but it’s also hard for you to manage. Choose a couple of key places that are convenient to everyone. Robinett says, “With over 1,000 locations in North America, there’s bound to be a Pier 1 near every 2nd cousin and Dad’s old fraternity brother who’s invited to the wedding.”

Personalize Your Registry

In addition to registering for traditional registry items, be creative and add your own personal touch to your registry. Your guests will appreciate being given a wide variety of items to purchase. “In fact, I’ve found that guys don’t mind shopping as much when they like what they’re shopping for,” says Robinett. “My husband decided to register for a desk and a rug for his home office. Several friends went in on it and bought it as a shower gift!”

Seeing Dollar Signs

To accommodate a range of budgets -- register for items with a variety of price points. Accents like candles, silk flowers, lamps and picture frames can be great as add-ons or solo purchases. If your registry runs out of items at a certain price point, consider adding more. “Registering for gifts in different price ranges is the polite thing to do,” explains Robinett.

Let the Shopping Begin!

Now that you can check your registry off your “to do” list, you can move on to other things. When that wedding stress starts to get to you, stop by your local Pier 1 or visit www.pier1.com and look at all the items you’ve selected for your fairy tale ending.

So, from your very own personalized registry to your beloved partner, may you live happily ever after!

Courtesy of ARA Content

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Wedding Planning Resources